It's not a diet...It's a healthier lifestyle

Ok, let's be honest… I'm lazy! I like to watch TV, play video games, check Facebook, post things from Pinterest, and sleep. As I stated last week, I want to change! Last week, I wrote my goal and promise to myself. I started this blog, in the hopes that it would help remind me of what I want and to keep me from being discouraged. One thing that I have recently come to accept about myself, is that I am someone who wants instant gratification, which I think is one of many reasons I am so lazy. This need for instant gratification leads to frustration, quitting, disappointment, and in some cases depression. So with this new accepted knowledge about myself, I began. Each time I have started down this path before, I usually get a good running start and then it becomes an uphill climb with a 1-step-forward-2-steps-back mentality. Usually with a lot of aching bones and joints. But this time is different, I have compiled an arsenal of quotes, advice, workout plans, meal plans, & support to help push, pull, carry and move my butt up that hill.

                One part of my support team is my amazing chiropractor Dr. Amy. When I was first diagnosed, she was really helpful in educating me on the hows and whys of what my body was telling me. It was helpful to see that there was something else going on in my body that wouldn't have been corrected just by medication. She has also been there to help keep me motivated to continue to work out. By the 3rd week of my previous attempts at being healthy, I would feel terrible. My bones and joints and muscles would all ache , and it made it easier to quit. By going in for my adjustments on a regular bases, my body feels a lot better. My knees don't ache, I don't have tension headaches, and I feel like I can move a lot better than before.

                The piece of advice I am choosing to work on this week is a comment left by my friend Jenn last week. This is what she said: "Only change one thing out and one thing at a time-like getting rid of Mtn. Dew and adding water one week (Done back in October) and the next week (or 6 months) trade out one of your snacks or meals for something healthier." So this week I traded out my frat boy eating style for something healthier. Buuuuutttt…. I didn't start the week out too well. On Wednesday, I ate pizza for every meal. But then I read another quote (yes on pinterest- don't judge me ;) )

"Ok. So you had a bad day. Don't beat yourself up over it, but don't let one bad decision send you spiraling out of control. Grab those running shoes and get back into it. Get back to making decisions that improve your health and your happiness. You are who you choose to be."

                With that quote fresh in my mind, Thursday after my work out session with my trainer John, I went grocery shopping. I bought broccoli, apples, strawberries, chicken breast, string cheese, whole wheat past, and brown rice among other healthy options. Throughout the rest of the week, I did well. Saturday I had a vanilla milkshake, but I was ok with that. My piece of advice for myself in the future and those who need it now. If you make a mistake, learn from it and move on. Stop beating yourself up, believe in yourself, and remember you can shine no matter what you are made of!

The Beginning

Sorry this is so long, my updates won't usually be this long, but I figured I would start from the beginning

     This all started in September when I decided to get my eyes checked. I hadn't had an eye exam in at least two years. I finally had insurance again, so I decided I needed new glasses and contacts. During my exam, the doctor asked me if I had anyone ever tell me that I had swelling on my optic nerve. I think he could tell by the look of confusion on my face that no one ever had. When he told me he wanted me to get a second opinion, I knew it must have been important. So after my appointment with a specialist, who confirmed the swelling on both eyes, I was scheduled for an MRI. I was a little concerned that I had swelling on my optics nerves, but I had no idea how bad it could have been. I asked the specialist what this could possibly be caused by. The answer was not a shock, but it was frustrating none the less. He said that women my age, who are overweight will sometimes have extra fluid on the brain, which will then cause swelling on the optic nerve. Of course all I heard was, "Hey you have fat kid syndrome, lose some weight, take some meds and you should be fine." He also said that it might be more serious than that, hence the MRI. My MRI came back clear (side note: happy dance! No tumors growing in my head) Now they wanted to set me up an appointment for a lumbar puncture. Aka SPINAL TAP! Not going to lie here, this freaked me out a lot! I was like "Whoa!!! Pump the brakes!!! But after the appointment, I decided it wasn't too bad. Now don't get me wrong, it hurt; I was sore for two days and I had a headache for a couple of days, but it wasn't as bad as my bad dreams had led me to believe it was going to be. I had to wait a week for the results. It was the longest week of life! I was worried that they weren't going to find out what was wrong with me, but as the days got closer to the results coming in I had an epiphany. It doesn't matter what the results say, something in my life has to change. I was drinking two bottles of Mtn. Dew a day, I ate food that college frat boys would be proud of, and I was sitting on my rear end all day everyday! I decided if I wanted my diagnosis to change, I was going to have to make the changes myself. If I didn't change something seriously wrong could happen to me. So I decided to make a change. Its been slow and difficult, and sometimes it feels impossible. But each time I make a step forward it feels amazing. My first step down this path was to stop drinking Mtn. Dew (I was helped by the medication I am now on for the diagnosis of Idiopathic Inter-cranial Hypertension.) My second step has been to stop eating crap! Sometimes I still eat like a frat boy, but its getting better. My third step has been to start to exercise more. I now have a trainer, who kicks my butt twice a week. But the reason for my blog is not only to keep track of what I am doing, but to keep me going forward on this road to being healthy! Back in October I wrote this pledge to challenge myself and I am now putting it out there for everyone to see.

       I WILL be able to play sports and not die because I cannot breathe, I will be able to shop in the women's section instead of the plus sizes. I know I will not be small because my body is not built like that, so I will NOT starve myself and I will NOT believe I am anything less than beautiful, no matter my size! My goal is to be healthy.

     I ask only that you encourage me, not shame me. Help me if I need a cheat, but don't enable me. And most of all, please oh please, don't be offended by anything I say while on this journey as I make these extreme changes in my life. You can hide my status updates, you can un-friend me, you can completely ignore me but I WILL do this! Thank you in advance for all your support, love, and encouragement. Please feel free to share inspirational quotes, stories, or recipes that will help me with my goals!

This is me in May 2012

And never forget, "You can shine no matter what you're made of!"