I'm BAAAAAAACCCCCKKKKK!

Alright readers, friends and family alike. I know its been a good long while since I have posted anything, and I want to apologize. I am sorry if I have let you down. I am sorry if you lost your way, because I wasn't following mine. I want to explain a little of what has been going on in my life over the last three weeks. Side note: When you are reading this, I want you to remember that my tone is not intended to be whiny, these are the facts as I see them. When I last wrote, I was starting to feel burned out. We had been working out almost every night, but not until 7pm, and then not leaving the gym until 8 or sometimes 8:30 depending on the conversation that would carry on while we were lifting (I am not saying this is a bad thing) After the 45 min drive home, I would go to be by 11 each night then get back up and do the whole thing over again. I am usually a social person, I like to go to activities and participate in my church things, but I felt like ALL I was doing was working out, and driving to and from work. I was starting to resent my workouts, I felt like I was being forced to go work out. There was NO balance between work, gym, church, and social life. The gym portion felt like it took up ALL of my time. So I gave up. There I said it. I wanted all of it so bad, that something had to give. The good news is that by going through that I was able to realize that I can have it all, I just have to balance everything equally. I have picked a night that I will go to a church activity, I can be with all my friends and feel like I am active in my church. If I can squeeze in a workout before great, if not no sweat off my back (ha, literally and figuratively)

 I am now making time for at least one other activity a week, whether it be a church activity or cookie Kart (minus the cookies, well maybe ;) )with my friends. And I have to tell myself, I don't have to feel guilty for not working out, as long as I am doing something else with my time (during those times only) If you are changing your unhealthy lifestyle (the frat boy eating, sit on your mommas couch playing video games, mountain dew drinking, complain about your fat kid syndrome lifestyle) to a healthy one, you have to make choices that can go long term. Working out everyday like that with no interaction other than your trainer and your workout partner WILL NOT last long term, even if you are not a social butterfly. Something will give and I can guarantee it will be first your workout, and then your food.
Speaking of food, I have not done well with that either. I did for the first week, and then like I said, your food will go too. Those mini donuts, you know the ones, with the white powdered sugar that taste like food crack, and you can eat a whole package in under a minute, because you are afraid someone who knows you are trying to be healthier will see you and chastise you for eating that crap. Yeah those ones, they have become my weakness. I have had to start leaving my wallet in my car when I go to work because I can buy them in the break room. Every time I finish package, I think to myself, "Really Felica, did you really need those donuts? No, No you didn't you had a perfectly good apple with some perfectly good peanut butter." So what do I do? You guessed it! I eat the apple and peanut butter, and the protein, and everything else in my lunch box, because.... I DON'T KNOW WHY?!?! So now my stomach has grown to fit all this food in it, and when I try to get back to eating my 300 calories a meal, I am still hungry so I go back to eating EVERYTHING in my lunch box. My mom and I were discussing this, and have decided that we are going back to basics. We have been choosing one thing each month to add to our do not eat list. It was getting ridiculous, I felt like I couldn't eat anything! So we are back to basics: no french fries; no deep fried, no cookies.

will someone print this out for me? without the half naked woman on the left would be great!

My weight has been yo yo-ing back and forth between 209 and 211. My goal this week is to get below 209. If I am going to yo yo between two numbers it should be like 207 and 209. We are back to working out, and eating healthy again. If you are struggling or did struggle and gave up, get back on the horse! Get the train back on the track! Something to remember, Progress is progress no matter how small!

Thank you for being my support system and not giving up on me! Andrew I really appreciate that you haven't given up on me either! Thank you SOOOOO much for blowing up my phone each week, and for giving me that gentle pat on the check!
Remember you can shine no matter what your made of!