Fizzling out?

I want to start out by saying (or reminding myself) I don't want to be one of those blogs that constantly whines about how hard and frustrating my life is. I want to stay up beat and positive. I want to inspire others when they are going through their own struggles. With that being said, I also want to be honest about what I go through, because I know others go through the same things. Maybe at different times, maybe in different ways, but at least others will know they are not alone. I am also made aware that I am not alone, by the comments I get either through Facebook, or by people just telling me when I see them. So I apologize if I sound whinny today (or any other time for that matter).

This week I have felt like I am fizzling out. I was doing so great with staying on track, working out, and keeping my head up. It has been a long time since I have wanted to just give up. This week was one of those weeks. When I was house sitting last week, I weighed myself on Sunday morning (after the 5K run) to see how much weight I had lost. On Sunday morning I was down to 205. Now granted I was using someone else's scale, but most of the circumstances were the same (same time of morning, same outfit). I was so stoked! That night I went and ran Tubbs with Pam, and posted my blog. I continued to work hard, but as the week worn on my body got tired. I had burst of energy but it wasn't lasting all day like it was before. So on Wednesday morning (a day early) I weighed myself at home. My scale said 211! I was PISSED!!!!! I hadn't been eating anything different, I was still working out. In fact I worked out Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday! My mom told me it was water weight, but I didn't believe that because my rings and clothes fit fine. I was bloated or anything. It threw me off. So that day, I ate normal and ran Tubbs that night with my mom. On Thursday I woke up and weighed myself again and I weighed 208. Which was better than 211, but definitely not the 205 I weighed before. Going up and down in weight like that let me get inside my head. I started to think that it wasn't worth it; that I was eating healthy and it wasn't working so why not have oreos instead of celery. Its been really hard to choke down the healthy food this week.

 And finally I just gave in. Friday night after work my mom and I stopped by Wendy's and I had a double cheeseburger, large fry, and a large Frosty. I still had that small voice in the back of my head that was making me feel guilty, but I seemed to ignore her enough, because I finished my meal. And tonight, I made macaroni and cheese with taquitos for dinner, and I finished that. Now after I ate all that CRAP, I feel like CRAP. I feel bloated and fat. It makes me want to go get a package of oreos and say, Forget this! I know in the long run it would not make me happy. I would be more upset if I did give up completely, but this sucks!

But as I sit here and write this, I am starting to feel better. Maybe because I am talking about it. Maybe because I can just vent, and not hear any logic that my consolers ( I don't think that's a real word, but it should be) would be saying (I do appreciate my consolers though).

My goals this week went pretty much how they do every week. I ran two days this week (Monday and Wednesday) I didn't workout five days this week but four (Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, & Wednesday) I didn't have vegetables for 14 meals, although I did have vegetables for 11 meals out of 35. So closer than the weeks prior. I did try a new recipe this week. I made cauliflower tortillas (well I tried, they didn't turn out like they were supposed to :(  ). So I got two out of five goals this week. GRRRRRRRR!!!!!!
Let's try this again:
1. Workout 5 days this week.
2. Jog at least 2 work outs
3. Eat vegetables for at least two meals a day.
4. Post at least one positive thing about my workout/food plan a day
5. Meet other 4 goals
Maybe number four will help me to be less cranky, and get out of this funk!

I just have to keep telling myself, everybody has hard times. Its how we handle those hard times that defines us. I WILL NOT GIVE UP! Ever! It may take me longer, but I WILL reach my goals!

We must always remember, You can shine no matter what you're made of!