The race to 200!

Since it's been so long since I have written I will give you a recap since I last wrote and then get into more detail on some adventures. We worked out Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday with John and Pam lifting weights. My body was so sore it was ridiculous! I finally jogged Tubbs hill with my mom on Thursday, and afterwards I felt like I had been smoking my entire life. Thursday night my Mom, John (my trainer), his wife Pam, and I went out for our cheat meal. We ate a Golden Corral, and it was delicious! Friday after work my cousin Sidney and I drove 6.5 hours to my friend Tabitha's house in the Seattle area. This is when my weight loss train got derailed. When we left we stopped in Coeur d'Alene at Burger King, and I had a chicken sandwich and some fries. The rest of the weekend I ate terribly. I had pizza, and gummy bears (not together of course). We made homemade Monte Cristos (if you don't know what those are DO NOT LOOK IT UP, just know they are bad for you!) Going to Buffalo Wild Wings was not the best idea either. When we got back on Tuesday night, I was ashamed and kind of hid from John and Pam, because I didn't really want to tell them how bad I had done. I also didn't write a)because I was in Seattle, and b) I have a harder time writing about my struggles, because I don't want people to see me as weak, or as a failure. Thanks to Andrew who never let me forget that I had an obligation to write, and let people know that I am going through the same struggles they are, and thanks to John and Pam who told me to stop beating myself up, it really wasn't that bad my train is back on track, and here I am writing again (even the hard and emotional stuff so get ready!)

Now that I have given you a short recap  let's get emotional (Ha just kidding). First off, I want to say how proud I am of my mom and all that she has accomplished over these past 13 weeks. In my last blog she was working hard on catching up with me, and I was working hard on not letting her. Well she caught me! On Thursday 07/31 we weighed in at 208.8 (me) and 208.2 (her). She told me that she was worried about catching me because she didn't want me to be discouraged. We had a great conversation about yes it would be a little upsetting, but it would make me want to work harder to not let her get too far ahead of me. Then I told her it didn't matter, because I was going to beat her to 200  anyway. My new motto for this month is "How bad do you want it?!?!" I want to be under 200 real bad! Each day while I was on vacation, I kept saying (after I had a bad meal), "I have to get back on track" I kept thinking of this picture I saw on my friend Kim's Facebook:

This is something we must remember because with that mentality it becomes well I had a bad day, so I will start over next week, and then I had a bad week, so I will start over next month, and so on. That is the mentality that got me to the point I was at 14 weeks ago before we started this adventure. I was starting to slip back and beat myself up, thinking well I really messed up. I wasn't focused on the future or even the here and now, I was focused on the past and John gave me some good advice. He said: "You can't change what has happened so get back on the horse today and don't let it get you down. We all stumble. A month from now it will be like this week never happened." I am so grateful for that advice because it reminded me, I am not going through this alone. You are not going through this alone. WE ALL STUMBLE.  We have to get back on the horse, or put the train back on the tracks and keep moving forward. I've got this! You've got this!

Prior to leaving for Seattle, my goals were going according to plan. I had worked out Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. Monday and Tuesday I did 25 leg lifts and 25 sit-ups. I even went on a jog with my mom on Thursday. Can I just take a second to stand on my soap box and complain. I HATE RUNNING. In all forms. I always feel like a smoker when I am done. I hack and cough for the next couple of days. I know it would get better the more I do it, but it is soooooo agonizing the whole time. I tried using music to help pass the time (it didn't work) I tried running with my mom to help push me and have someone to follow. ( that really didn't work) I know that I need cardio, and I know that the more I do it the better it's going to get, and I know that it is worth it. But no one said I had to like it. When I told John, how much I despised running, he looked at me and said "How bad do you want it?" and I looked at him and said, "Apparently I want it bad enough, because I did it. But you didn't say I had to like it." Ok, I am done ranting, and I am stepping down off my soapbox.

Another lesson I learned this week is a two part lesson. Part 1: My will power is not as strong as I thought it was. And part 2: even if you think your will power is strong, you should still prepare your food. I figured when I got to Seattle I would go buy the food I needed, and I would cook it at Tabitha's house. Haha! Yeah right! When I got to Tabitha's house, all I wanted was to eat the good stuff, I had been missing out on over the last month. Like pizza, gummy bears, and deep fried sugar. If I would have taken the food we had at my house with me, I would have been more likely to follow my eating plan. I got a little ahead of myself, and got a little arrogant. Which is why I need to go back to simple fundamentals for awhile.

My goals this week will be similar to ones I have had before. Just to make sure my train is secure on the track.

1. I will exercise five days this week at least 30 minutes at a time.

2. I will Jog at least one of those workouts.

3. I will write a blog entry no later than Saturday 08/16

4. I will NOT cheat on my diet this week.

It is now the race to 200. My mom and I were about the same (before my vacation and I gained 3.2 pounds) but our next goal is to be under 200 pounds! This will be our next big push! How bad do we want it!?!?

No excuses! Acceptance, faith, strength, and determination. These are the qualities we will possess this week! I don't think I tell you enough, how grateful I am for you! You inspire me to keep going, and you also keep me honest! You encourage me when I am down, you congratulate me when I conquer a goal. You are amazing, and you deserve to conquer your goals as well. Keep going, keep moving forward. WE ALL STUMBLE, and always remember: You can shine no matter what you're made of!